Gorick
Professionals

The 3 C's: The Unspoken Rules of Career Success

Last Updated:

March 3, 2025

Table of Contents

Competence, Commitment, Compatibility

The hidden rubric of the workplace

Starting a new job? Trying to get promoted? Or, simply want to establish a great professional reputation so others trust you—and won’t micromanage you?

It all comes down to knowing—and navigating—the Three C’s of Competence, Commitment, and Compatibility.

The idea is this: The minute you “show up,” whether it’s on a resume, in an interview, in a meeting or even via instant message at work, the people around you are sizing you up—and asking themselves three questions:

  • Can you do the job well? (or, are you Competent?)
  • Are you excited to be here? (or, are you Committed?)
  • Do you get along with us? (or, are you Compatible?)
Prove that you are competent, and people will want to offer you more important responsibilities. Prove that you are committed, and people will want to invest in you. Prove that you are compatible, and people will want to work with you. Graphic taken from The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right, Gorick Ng’s Wall Street Journal bestselling book.
Prove that you are competent, and people will want to offer you more important responsibilities. Prove that you are committed, and people will want to invest in you. Prove that you are compatible, and people will want to work with you. Graphic taken from The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right, Gorick Ng’s Wall Street Journal bestselling book.

Your job is to convince everyone around you that, yes, you are, in fact, Competent, Committed, and Compatible—the Three C’s.

Demonstrate that you’re Competent and people will trust you with more important responsibilities.

Demonstrate that you’re Committed and people will want to invest in you.

Demonstrate that you’re Compatible and people will want to work with you.

But it’s not just you who needs to flex your Competence, Commitment, and Compatibility.

Imagine the CEO of a company. They have to flex their Three C’s too! The only difference is that they’re flexing not to a direct manager, but to the Board of Directors (who hired them—and can fire them) and to the company’s biggest clients.

Otherwise, people won’t trust you with important assignments, won’t feel
like you are worth their investment, or won’t want to spend time
with you. Graphic taken from The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right, Gorick Ng’s Wall Street Journal bestselling book.
It’s not enough to show just one or two of the Three Cs. You need to show all three. Otherwise, people won’t trust you with important assignments, won’t feel like you are worth their investment, or won’t want to spend time with you. Graphic taken from The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right, Gorick Ng’s Wall Street Journal bestselling book.

You have to flex the Three C’s even if you think you work for yourself. If you sell anything to anyone—as a freelance designer or virtual assistant, for example—whoever you serve will care about your Three C’s.

Master the Three C’s and you’ll build trust, unlock opportunities, and accelerate your career.

Fail to master any of the Three C’s and you’ll find yourself getting looked over for projects, promotions, and full-time job offers. And often, no one will ever even tell you why.

So, how do you demonstrate the Three C’s of competence, commitment, and compatibility?

Competence: Can You Do the Job Well?

Competence means you can do your job fully, accurately, and promptly without needing to be micromanaged—and without making others look bad.

This means not undershooting to the point of looking clueless and not overshooting to the point of looking overbearing.

In the absence of clearly measurable outputs, managers often rely on inputs—like how much progress it looks like you are making on a project, how confidently you speak in meetings, and how well you promote yourself.
In the absence of clearly measurable outputs, managers often rely on inputs—like how much progress it looks like you are making on a project, how confidently you speak in meetings, and how well you promote yourself.

Think of someone you’ve worked with or managed recently—whether it’s for a project at work or in school.

  • Did they always miss deadlines and not communicate delays? If so, you probably saw them as unreliable—and clueless.
  • Did they always get their work done fully, accurately, and promptly? If so, you probably saw them as trustworthy—and competent.
  • Did they always take over others’ jobs and make others look bad? If so, you probably saw them as excessive—and overbearing.

Here’s the challenge: Your actual competence matters, but others’ perceptions of your competence can be just as important.

Imagine you work in marketing at a big tech company. It’s not easy knowing how “good” of a marketer you are. After all, most marketing campaigns require many people—and maybe even many teams—working together over weeks, months, and maybe even years. In the absence of clearly defined outputs (for example how many boxes you stacked in an hour if you worked in a warehouse), we rely on inputs—such as how you speak, write, and show up.


Related: What the first Black woman CEO of a Fortune 500 company can teach us about being seen and heard.


How to Demonstrate Competence:

  • Take ownership: Don’t stop at “What do I do next? Help!” Share your thought process, your proposal, or your point of view.
  • Minimize errors: Don’t just submit your first draft. Double-check your work for typos, miscalculations, and formatting inconsistencies first.
  • Manage expectations: Don’t say “yes” and then forget what you promised others. Actually do what you said you would do. And if you can’t, deliver bad news early.

Are you demonstrating the right dose of competence?

Look left, look right, and compare your behavior to others’ behavior. Then, ask yourself: Compared to others around me (especially those near or at my level), am I being as complete, thorough, and responsive?

Commitment: Are You Excited to Be Here?

Commitment means you are fully present and eager to help your team achieve its goals—but not so eager that you put others on the defensive.

This means not undershooting to the point of looking apathetic and not overshooting to the point of looking threatening.

Sometimes, little actions like showing up late, looking away on video chat, not volunteering for tasks, not speaking up enough, or not replying to emails as quickly as your coworkers do can be enough to cast doubt on how committed you are.
Sometimes, little actions like showing up late, looking away on video chat, not volunteering for tasks, not speaking up enough, or not replying to emails as quickly as your coworkers do can be enough to cast doubt on how committed you are.

Now, think of someone in your personal life, whether a close friend or a significant other.

  • Did they always do things on their schedule instead of on others’ schedules? If so, you probably saw them as slow—and apathetic.
  • Did they always share ideas and information (or at least ask questions)? If so, you probably saw them as engaged—and committed.
  • Did they always take over others’ responsibilities and make others look bad? If so, you probably saw them as arrogant—and threatening.

Expressing commitment in your personal life isn’t easy—as is the case at work: sometimes, perception and reality don’t align.

Imagine you’re managing two summer interns—“Intern A” and “Intern B”. “Intern A” shows up early, replies promptly to emails, and always has thoughtful answers when called upon. “Intern B,” meanwhile, shows up late, is slower at replying to emails, and always says “I don’t know” when called upon.  If there’s only 1 job offer,  most managers will pick Intern A in a heartbeat—even if Intern B was actually the one who wanted the job more.


Related: What this Nobel Prize winner can teach us about proving others wrong.


How to Demonstrate Commitment:

  • Be present: Don’t show up to meetings empty-handed and with nothing to say or ask. Brainstorm questions you might be asked and show up with a point of view (or at least a notebook to take notes).
  • Reply promptly: Don’t wait until you’re done with your work to let others know. Reply at least as quickly as others around you (or let others know if you need more time).
  • Show curiosity: Don’t say “nope!” and nothing else when someone asks if you have any questions. Share what you already know—and then ask a question that cannot be easily answered via the Internet.

Are you demonstrating the right dose of commitment?

Look left, look right, and compare your behavior to others’ behavior. Then, ask yourself: Compared to others around me (especially those near or at my level), am I being as proactive and present?

Compatibility: Do You Get Along with Others?

Compatibility means you make people comfortable and eager to work with you—without coming across as inauthentic or trying too hard.

This means not undershooting to the point of looking passive and not overshooting to the point of looking like a poser.

People might claim that someone is not a “cultural fit” when they are really judging the person’s clothes, accent, mannerisms, body weight, hobbies, or any other element of the person’s identity.
People might claim that someone is not a “cultural fit” when they are really judging the person’s clothes, accent, mannerisms, body weight, hobbies, or any other element of the person’s identity. Source

Now, consider the last time you worked with someone else, whether at school, at work, or in your personal life.

  • Did you keep to yourself and not acknowledge others around you? If so, others may have seen you as disinterested—and passive.
  • Did you show an interest in others and in how things work on the team? If so, others probably saw you as a team player—and a compatible one at that.
  • Did you show off who you know and what you know—even if no one seems to care? If so, others may have seen you as excessive—and a poser.

What’s challenging about compatibility is that it depends on whom you’re with, what norms and unconscious biases they have, and how well you know each other.

Imagine you just moved to a foreign country—and all of a sudden you bump into someone who looks like you, talks like you, and even shares the same backgrounds and interests as you. Now, imagine if this person ends up being your new next door neighbor. Chances are, you’d grow to like this person—if you don’t like them already. Psychologists call this phenomenon the “familiarity bias.” It’s why people tend to hire, hang around, and promote those who are similar to them. It’s not fair—but it is human nature.


Read: What Joe Biden and MrBeast can teach us about outlasting the competition.


How to Demonstrate Compatibility:

  • Build relationships: Don’t just do your work. Introduce yourself to others and show an interest in them as people.
  • Show deference: Don’t just say anything to anyone at any time. Uncover the unspoken hierarchy of your new team and show an extra dose of seriousness to those higher up.
  • Uncover norms: Don’t just assume the working style of your last job will work for this one. Show an interest in adapting to how the team operates.

Are you demonstrating the right dose of compatibility?

Look left, look right, and compare your behavior to others’ behavior. Then, ask yourself: Am I adopting the behaviors I see that feel authentic to me?

The Workplace Isn’t a Level Playing Field

You need to do more than just hard work if you want to get ahead. You need to manage others’ perceptions of you.


Related: What the co-founder of Panda Express can teach us about being an outsider


Some people walk into jobs with coworkers and managers already assuming that they’re competent, committed, and compatible. Others have to prove themselves—and prove themselves repeatedly.

The result? An uneven playing field where some of us have to work harder just to earn the same amount of trust and respect.

Studies have shown, for example, that…

  • Women often walk a tightrope of needing to be both likable (so, not too “masculine”) and competent (so, not too “feminine”). (Source)
  • Black professionals tend to be more closely monitored than white professionals. (Source)
  • People with difficult-to-pronounce names are evaluated less positively than people with easy-to-pronounce names. (Source)

Is this fair? No. Do we need to change the system? Yes. Might we have a better system by the time you finish reading this article? If only.

Until that better world arrives, knowing the Three C’s can help you not only diagnose what’s happening around you but also arm you with the tools to become the professional that you have the potential to be.

How to Apply the 3 C’s Today

Want to assess how well you’re demonstrating the Three C’s? Ask yourself:

Competence:

  1. Do I share my thought process, my proposal, or my point of view when asking for help?
  2. Do I check my work for typos, miscalculations, and formatting inconsistencies?
  3. Do I follow through with what I promise (and let others know proactively if I can’t)?

Commitment:

  1. Do I show up to meetings with questions to ask and a point of view to share?
  2. Do I reply at least as quickly as others around me?
  3. Do I generally ask questions that cannot be easily answered via the Internet?

Compatibility:

  1. Do I introduce myself to others and show an interest in them as people?
  2. Do I understand the hidden hierarchy of my team (and do I show an extra dose of seriousness to those higher up)?
  3. Do I try to show an interest in adapting to how the team operates?

Even small behaviors—like double-checking your work, showing urgency, or saying “hi”—can make a big difference in how you are perceived.


Related: How former German Chancellor Angela Merkel proved herself


Unsure of the unspoken rules of your new environment? Try this:

  • Analyze: Take note of who’s getting promoted, who’s well respected, and who seems to know everyone.
  • Assess: Take note of how these people behave compared to everybody else.
  • Adjust: Consider emulating others' behaviors that feel authentic to you.

Mastering the Three C’s takes time—and practice. But, the great news is that once you…

  1. Know that these rules exist
  2. Know what they are
  3. Know how to practice them

…You can start taking control of other’s perceptions of you and, in turn, your career.

The Three C’s are only 1 of many unspoken rules in the workplace.

Want more from me? Here are my other offerings:

1. Keynote speaking: Including virtual and in-person workshops and fireside chats for schools, companies, and non-profit organizations for first-gens, early career talent development, manager training, and Employee Resource Groups (ERGs). Let’s connect!

2. How to Say It: Flashcards that teach you to know what to say in every high-stakes professional setting. Get 260 fill-in-the-blank scripts and self-guided video tutorials. Free shipping on all orders over $40.

3. Fast Lane to Leadership: The resource proven to ramp employees up quickly, used by multiple Fortune 500 companies and top universities. Go from day 1 in a new role through to a promotion with 28 modules and 28 cheatsheets (3.5 hours of content).

4. The Unspoken Rules: My Wall Street Journal Bestseller that Arianna Huffington calls “a blueprint for anyone starting their career, entering a new role, or wanting to get unstuck.” Used by top companies and MBA programs.