Welcome to Edition #22 of Ask Gorick Anything. This AMA is part of Gorick's Newsletter, where Harvard career advisor and Wall Street Journal bestselling author Gorick Ng shares what they don't teach you in school about how to succeed in your career.
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ASK GORICK ANYTHING
“Is lunch with the boss a test?”
Have a career question? Ask me here.
Subscriber’s question:
“Hey Gorick, if the managing director at my internship asks where to eat lunch, do you have advice on how to respond?
I know in your book The Unspoken Rules (next to me lol), you mentioned to be careful of the office making you the ‘mom’ so I just went ahead with a genuine response and hit send asap.
Here’s the email thread with some details anonymized.
***
Boss: “I am planning to take all of the interns to lunch on Monday and want to pick a restaurant that meets everyone’s dietary preferences. Do you have any? I’m looking forward to having you back this summer.”
↓
Me: “Thank you! I really appreciate it. I eat Halal food.”
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Boss: “That is what I thought. I’m trying to see if Cedar Flame is Halal—if not, I’m thinking Noura’s Kitchen in Maple Grove. Thoughts?”
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Me: “I haven’t eaten at any of these places, but if it’s actually confirmed they’re Halal, then I’m good to go anywhere. From what I’ve eaten in this area, my absolute favorite is Aga’s. However, Benny’s Grillhouse and The Roost might be even nearer. You can even choose Fork Theory, I enjoy their seafood. Appreciate you including everyone’s preferences.”
— Sadie B. from Houston, TX
Gorick's response:
Hi Sadie,
Thank you for your question!
I think that the response you sent looks great in that it gets the job done, though I do have a few suggestions for increasing your level of perceived ownership (competence in The Three C’s framework!).
So, if I had to improve your email, this is what I would write:
Hi [Boss’s name],
Thank you for asking!
I haven’t eaten at any of these places, but I just gave both places a call and can confirm that [if both work: both are Halal, so please feel free to proceed with either option / if one is Halal and one isn’t but both work: Cedar’s Flame is Halal, so, if it isn’t inconvenient, it would be my top choice, though the menu at Noura’s Kitchen has enough vegetarian options that I’m happy to go with either / if neither are Halal but both work: neither are Halal, but both have enough vegetarian options that both would work for me].
It sounds like you've already got things covered, but, if you need an extra hand at making any reservations, let me know and I'm happy to help.
OR
Would it be helpful for me to get us a reservation? If so, is it correct that we’d be looking at 7 people with a preference for a quiet area for Monday 5/19 at 12pm?
Appreciate you including everyone’s preferences!
Best regards,
Anonymous
PS: In case you’re in need of other options, here are a couple of others for next time:
- Benny’s Grillhouse: Casual with lots of seating; requires hands to eat (5 min walk)
- The Roost: Rice plates best for takeout (10 min walk)
- Fork Theory: Lots of menu options and seating (6 min walk)
The rationale behind this email?
1. The hidden objective of the lunch isn’t necessarily to eat, but to provide everyone with a casual setting to get to know each other.
(In other words, your boss’s question about your food preferences is less about your actual preferences and more about whether you would be OK with the options presented.)
2. Since the lunch itself is a means to an end and is too low-level work for this managing director, he is probably looking to just get it over and done with.
(In other words, anything you can do to make his life easier would show a great deal of ownership and proactivity.)
3. While it may be true that “office housework” is a thing, it’s more important to show that you are proactive and organized, especially when you are junior.
(In other words, take this opportunity to build a closer relationship with this managing director and show that you have the professional skills to be trusted with more important responsibilities later on.)
4. Your other options are great! However, it seems like he has already passed a certain point of decision-making and has narrowed his options down to two restaurants.
(In other words, I would be inclined to focus on the two options he shared, then show your proactivity by presenting your other options as follow-ups towards the bottom.)
Hope you found this helpful—and thank you for the trust!
See you Tuesday for our next story and unspoken rule,
Gorick
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