TODAY'S TAKEAWAY
“I'm 63. Fight for a promotion or move on?”
💡 The quick answer: If you're being held back by factors you can't control, don't jump ship yet—but do start looking.
THE QUESTION
“I’m 63 and in what I expect to be my final career as an instructional designer. I’ve been with my company for 15 years, and in my current ID role for 5 years, I’m not planning to retire anytime soon, and I’m finally in a position to save for my future.
My challenge is that I feel I contribute significantly to the team—I ask the hard questions, improve processes, and I’m a team player. Yet I receive little recognition. My manager continues to find fault with my performance, and leadership recently promoted someone with less experience simply because he’s more visible in BRGs and has a larger internal network.
I was recently assigned a complex, high‑visibility project, but with very little support. It almost feels like a setup for failure. I’m not interested in managing people; I prefer leading through influence. But I do want to advance to senior instructional designer, and that should come with more than a minimal raise.
At this point, I’m unsure at my age if I should stay and keep pushing for advancement or start looking for a new role elsewhere. How do I navigate this stage of my career and position myself for the promotion I’ve earned?”
— “Anonymous” from Columbus, OH
GORICK'S RESPONSE
Hi “Anonymous,”
I’m sorry it’s been so challenging.
If I had to guess what’s going on without actually having a chance to stick on a mustache, wear a wig, walk into your workplace, and observe you at work, I’d venture to guess that your manager doesn’t like you (and maybe even wants you gone) and it’s because of one (or two) of two issues:
- You’ve overshot or undershot your zones of competence, commitment, or compatibility
- Your manager feels threatened by you (or just doesn’t like you for some reason)
I could be totally wrong! But here’s how I came to this diagnosis from afar using the limited amount of information you’ve shared:
A. “I feel I contribute significantly to the team—I ask the hard questions, improve processes, and I’m a team player”: What’s wrong?
Unfortunately, it’s not what you believe you’re contributing to the team, but what others believe you’re contributing to the team. Perception is reality (or at least other people's reality).
Put yourself in the shoes of your manager, look at yourself, and ask: “Are these hard questions and proposals welcome or not welcome?”
- Welcome = I agree with your ideas + they don’t make me look bad + they don’t give me more work I don’t want (i.e., you’re competent, committed, and compatible)
- Not welcome = I disagree with your ideas + they make me look bad + they give me more work I don’t want (i.e., you’ve overshot your zones of competence, commitment, and/or compatibility and now I'm on the defensive)
If you’re sure your comments are welcome, then maybe this isn’t the problem.
But if you’re not sure, then there’s a chance that your ideas—regardless of how brilliant—are actually backfiring because you're violating some unspoken rule of the workplace.
B. “My manager continues to find fault with my performance” / “It almost feels like a setup for failure”: Why?
If your manager keeps finding fault in your performance, then either you actually have a performance issue or they’re consciously or subconsciously fabricating an issue to make a case for your dismissal.
Put yourself in the shoes of your manager, look at yourself, and ask: “Which of the following feelings am I inclined to think?”
- “These ideas are nice, but what good are these ideas when you aren’t doing your job in the way I want?”
- If this is your problem, try doing things your manager’s way before speaking up further.
- “You’ve overshot your Three C’s, so now I’m annoyed (and therefore want you gone).”
- If is is your problem, consider asking your manager in your next one on one, “I’ve been reflecting on my work over the past while and feel like I could have done a better job of _______. I want to make your life easier and value your opinion and would love to get your advice on what I can do differently.”
- “You’re making me look bad in front of people I care to impress (and therefore want you gone).”
- If this is your problem, consider giving them more credit in some upcoming meetings and seeing how they react.
- “I want this other person I like more to get promoted, so all I can do is keep you down.”
- If this is your problem, I’m afraid there isn’t an easy solution since it's hard to change people's minds, especially if this is a zero-sum game.
C. “Leadership recently promoted someone with less experience simply because he’s more visible in BRGs and has a larger internal network”: What am I missing?
If this is happening, then it’s a good sign that doing your job well is only half of your job in this organization. To get ahead, you need to follow the unspoken rules of being seen, heard, and remembered by the decision makers. Often this means…
- Volunteering for BRGs, ERGs, committees, and task forces
- Introducing yourself to senior leaders, whether by approaching them after town halls, striking up a conversation through existing meetings, bumping into them in the hallway, getting introduced through a mutual contact, or cold emailing them
- Offering to help these senior leaders on their pet projects, doing a good job, and convincing them to pull you into more (and more important) work
- Meeting people across the organizations, whether by attending happy hours, grabbing lunch or coffee with others, showing up early to meetings and chit chatting, following up with people one-on-one after meetings, getting introduced via existing contacts, or simply messaging people, starting with those who have something in common with you
FYI: If "networking" feels unnatural and you're struggling to even find the words to say, I have workplace "Mad Libs" that can help.
You also shared this: "I’m unsure at my age if I should stay and keep pushing for advancement or start looking for a new role elsewhere."
My advice? Put out feelers: reconnect with old friends and ask for introductions on the side, but keep this job for now.
At best, you'll find a better role with a manager you can get along with better and an organization that's more aligned with your values.
At worst, you met some new people, reconnected with old colleagues, and have a better pulse on the state of the job market, so you can be better informed and better networked for a future jump.
What I wouldn't do is quit outright and then look. Always look on the side! It's a tough economy to be looking for a job right now. It's doubly tough if you're not currently employed. It's triply tough if you're in your 60s.
Hope this helps!
Gorick
PS: Have a career question for me? Submit a question here and I might answer it in my monthly "Ask Gorick Anything" series, which now appears on the last Tuesday of each month!
WHAT I'M READING
Here are 3 articles that I found interesting recently (no paywalls, although it may depend on your cookies):
- “The bruising reality of searching for a job at 65” (MSN)
- “The Real Economics of AI and Jobs” (Time Magazine)
- “Gen Z is cutting back on retirement savings” (Yahoo Finance)
MORE OF MY WORK
Every newsletter is free and a fraction of my work. Here are 3 of my paid offerings that may interest you:
1. Keynote speaking: If your organization is looking for speakers for your internship program, new hire orientation, new student orientation, manager training, all-hands meetings, recruiting season, year-end performance evaluation season, or something else, let's chat!
2. How to Say It: Flashcards that teach you to know what to say in every high-stakes professional setting via hundreds of fill-in-the-blank scripts (just like the examples above). Free shipping on all orders over $40.
3. The Unspoken Rules: My Wall Street Journal Bestseller that Arianna Huffington calls “a blueprint for anyone starting their career, entering a new role, or wanting to get unstuck.” Used by top companies and MBA programs.
4. Soft skills crash course: Hard skills get you hired, but a lack of soft skills gets you fired. Equip your interns and early career talent with the essential behaviors of high performers in just 3.5 hours.
